Earlier today, I served as the “young woman’s voice” in a panel of local experts at a Girl Scouts speaking event. One question for the panel was something to the effect of, "Should parents read their daughter’s texts or monitor her online activity for bad language and inappropriate content?"
I was surprised when the first panelist answered the question as if it were about cyberbullying. The adult audience nodded sagely as she spoke about the importance of protecting children online.
I reached for the microphone next. I said, “As far as reading your child’s texts or logging into their social media profiles, I would say 99.9% of the time, do not do that.”
Looks of total shock answered me. I actually saw heads jerk back in surprise. Even some of my fellow panelists blinked.
Everyone stared as I explained that going behind a child’s back in such a way severs the bond of trust with the parent. When I said, “This is the most effective way to ensure that your child never tells you anything,” it was like I’d delivered a revelation.
It’s easy to talk about the disconnect between the old and the young, but I don’t think I’d ever been so slapped in the face by the reality of it. It was clear that for most of the parents I spoke to, the idea of such actions as a violation had never occurred to them at all.
It alarms me how quickly adults forget that children are people.
Apparently people are rediscovering this post somehow and I think that’s pretty cool! Having experienced similar violations of trust in my youth, this is an important issue to me, so I want to add my personal story:
Around age 13, I tried to express to my mother that I thought I might have clinical depression, and she snapped at me “not to joke about things like that.” I stopped telling my mother when I felt depressed.
Around age 15, I caught my mother reading my diary. She confessed that any time she saw me write in my diary, she would sneak into my room and read it, because I only wrote when I was upset. I stopped keeping a diary.
Around age 18, I had an emotional breakdown while on vacation because I didn’t want to go to college. I ended up seeing a therapist for - surprise surprise - depression.
Around age 21, I spoke on this panel with my mother in the audience, and afterwards I mentioned the diary incident to her with respect to this particular Q&A. Her eyes welled up, and she said, “You know I read those because I was worried you were depressed and going to hurt yourself, right?”
TL;DR: When you invade your child’s privacy, you communicate three things:
- You do not respect their rights as an individual.
- You do not trust them to navigate problems or seek help on their own.
- You probably haven’t been listening to them.
Information about almost every issue that you think you have to snoop for can probably be obtained by communicating with and listening to your child.
FIRST OF ALL: HOW DARE YOU
THIS IS NOT OK
YOU ARE FUCKING GROUNDED YOUNG LADY
The one great thing our generation is gifted with is that even once we’ve finished our period of institutional education (after high school, college, or university) we still have pretty easy access to current educational tools and information.
Our parents finished their education and generally they just moved into their lives as adulthood without any easy way of re-checking the information they learned as a child to see if anything they take to be common knowledge has changed. Even if they wanted to find out, like, hey, does the periodic table still look the same? Does the model of the solar system still look the same? Does our understanding of human nutrition still work the same way? it would have been harder for them to seek out this knowledge. It would have been much more time consuming, and they’d just think, well, since I don’t need this information to do my job / live my life, I shouldn’t bother.
But today, almost instantly, we can find out what the major changes to the period table have been in the past 20 years. New elements that have been added, atomic weights that have changed. We know that there are only 8 planets and 1 sun considered to be in our solar system, and that we have 5 currently recognized dwarf planets like Ceres, Pluto, Haumea, Makemake, and Eris. We can find out that the Harvard School of Public Health now recognizes that cow’s milk is not the best source of calcium, and that retinol (vitamin A) which is often fortified in cow’s milk can actually play a part in weakening your bones, not strengthening them.
We have new problems too, like the fact that the internet is so vast and frequently filled with incorrect knowledge, we have to sort through it sometimes at great lengths to find anything resembling the truth, and we can only sort through it using our best judgement. But thanks to the internet and quicker access to information, we’ll never have to stop learning.
dont take your finger off the Z button and scream
DIRECT LINKS TO SAILOR MOON CRYSTAL SIMULCAST PAGES:
If your language is not listed on Niconico, please don’t contact me! I’m just a huge Sailor Moon fan closely following news and the SMC staff on twitter/FB. I’m here to help share news with you as quickly as I can. I don’t work for these companies. If you want to see your language, feel free to contact the big people on top!
I also wanted to note that Hulu/Neon Alley, Crunchyroll, and Niconico are all LEGAL STREAMING sites. So you can watch Sailor Moon Crystal for FREE and LEGALLY. By supporting official, legal simulcasts of Sailor Moon Crystal, you are supporting the show and the staff. If there’s enough popularity, we may see a second season down the road! Sailor Moon Crystal will be following the first arc of the manga (as stated on the official Sailor Moon website) which involves Queen Beryl and the Dark Kingdom. So if you want to possibly see Chibiusa and the outers down the road, please show your support and watch legally for free!!
For more information on streaming via Niconico, please view my old post here.
Yaaaaaay actual legal sources are getting spread for once~
Oh my god I love how excited my astronomy professor was teaching us about Europa today. <3 And as a result I’m now excited about Europa too, so let’s have a quick rundown of this neat little moon.
- It’s one of Jupiter’s four major moons (the Galilean Moons), it’s the second closest to the planet after Io
- Apart from some mineral deposits its surface is mainly water ice
- Beneath that ice, however, there’s a liquid water ocean
- How? Well the moon’s heated internally by the powerful tidal forces from Jupiter that bend and stretch its interior, resulting in heat energy
- The resulting arrangement is something like a version of Earth’s plate tectonics with water and ice in place of Earth’s magma and rock, so the ice surface of Europa is constantly being reshaped, forming mountainous ice ridges, rifts through which water flows up and freezes to create new “land”, and also geysers which can shoot some pretty frickin’ tall water plumes
- Back to that ocean though, it’s a legit candidate for life and (even though we don’t know anything one way or the other) if there is any it may not be dissimilar to the stuff we’ve got hanging out by our deep sea vents here on Earth, relying on an internal heat source rather than the sun
- Like for real there’s genuine interest in sending a thing to Europa to get under the ice and check that ocean out, get samples of the water, and just see what there is to see, cause whatever’s down there, there’s a lot to learn no matter what
So yeah this is my professor’s favorite place in the whole Solar System, I’m just passing the cool stuff along and subtly hinting at some serious sci-fi potential to play with. :D
#lonelychairsatcern rare corduroy chair at the entrance of the hall on #b150 #b8 #CERN
this is a blog consisting exclusively of pictures of chairs in deserted CERN corridors and it’s perfection
My forgiveness doesn’t determine what an abuser does. The only thing that determines what an abuser does, is the abuser themselves. I’m not in control of that. But thank you for telling me that half of my family should die, that makes me feel a lot better while my father is dying. Get the fuck away from me. Now. Just go. Find somewhere else to vent your rage if you have to, but get away from me.
what the fuck
it is not other people's job to police how abuse survivors survive abuse
if forgiveness helps someone, they should forgive! If anger helps, they should be angry! If spite, or sadness, or just not thinking about their abuser is what helps them in their recovery, then they should fucking do that
other people do not get to have a fucking opinion on this point
Saying “you need to hate your abuser” is no better then saying “you need to love your abuser.” Both take the agency out of the hands of the one person who has any say in the matter by turning it into a moral mandate. Recovery is an extremely personal process, and different tactics work for different people.
It is not up to anyone else to tell them what they are REQUIRED to do to handle their own recovery.
Also, I take personal issue with this statement:
Every abuser you forgive is an abuser who will go on to violate and hurt someone else.
This is implying that by forgiving abusers (and by extension of the anon’s earlier argument, not killing them), they are complicit and indirectly responsible for their future actions. Maybe you missed the fucking memo that states abuse survivors are not responsible for the actions of their abusers!? This doesn’t mysteriously change later on when they are in the process of recovery just because they used a method you don’t like!
Frankly, telling someone that they are responsible for the abuse of others if they treat their abusers in a way other then the way you approve of is abusive. You’re basically saying “their blood is on your hands for not acting in a way I approve of,” using the very trauma they are trying to recover from as a weapon. That sort of manipulative rhetoric is fucking sickening, and utterly indefensible.
(sorry, I usually don’t talk on tumblr, but this REALLY got my ire up).
ok I can’t remember if I’ve mentioned this but I keep thinking about the story of Jack and the Beanstalk and how the best character in the whole story is only briefly mentioned. We’re given such limited amount of information about the guy that sells Jack the beans. essentially:
- This guy has access to MAGIC BEANS
- He either has NO USE for MAGIC BEANS or so many of them that he can just dispose of them
- He really badly wants a cow
Why is the whole story not about this guy
Pretty sure this is one of those things in fairy tales where you can write it off as “magic-users are dicks.” Like, no matter what the story’s about or what the moral is or who’s telling it, there’s just this endless supply of people running around with magic powers or magic artifacts or control of some magic beast that’s got nothing better to do than screw with whoever’s dumb enough to talk to them.
Jack and the Beanstalk: “I’m going to the market.” “What, we need something?” “No, I’m just in the mood to watch some peasant lose his damn mind over a bunch of plants.” “Okay, cool.”
Rapunzel: “Mrs. Witch, please, can I have some food from your garden?” “No. Unless…” “Unless what?” “Unless you give me your baby.” “Are you…are you going to eat the baby?” “Nah. I figure I’ll just stick it in a tower or something.” “Witches are weird.”
Rumpelstiltskin: “You told the king I could spin straw into gold?” “Yup.” “And he believed you?” “Yup.” “What sort of asshole believes something like that?" "Sweetheart, do you remember that month we all had to go vegetarian because some Russian hobo got his hands on a sack that could hold Death?" "Never mind, Papa."
Pick any natural number (whole numbers ≥ 1)
Follow this pattern:
- If the number is even, divide by two (n/2).
- If the number is odd, multiply by three and add one (3n+1).
- Repeat until you reach the number one
This is called the Collatz Conjecture, an unsolved problem in mathematics, that states that for any natural number you start off with, you will eventually get to one by following this process.
It’s also a great way to kill time.
The gals in purple. By takezaka tarou.
Pretty much all the fights in touhou
Fighting for absolutely no reason and acting like nothing happened afterwards